Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
