We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
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Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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