In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
As shirtless as possible
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
