where am i from again
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
