Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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