Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
