didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am spending my child support on dildos
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
