it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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