I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?