Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
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i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
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I fill condoms, not promises.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up