Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging