And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀