I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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