This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He has the fingertips of a God
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
