drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
