You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
