i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
