Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
