I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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