i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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