I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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