butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
