I heard we made out
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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