"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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