so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
