the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
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