You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Ladies don't puke and tell
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize