Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
