dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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