You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
