This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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