Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
