What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
