That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
