His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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