Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
