upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
