im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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