i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
