so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
