Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize