Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
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It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
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A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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