he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Couch. On fire.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
