are you still at the devil's house?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."