i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
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Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
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Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME