i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
