I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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