Nicole vs. Life
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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