we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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