Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She's the barista slut.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
