Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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