And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Sext me about skeletons
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
