i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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