im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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