So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
