dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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