She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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