What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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