If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
