I bet he comes in French.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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