Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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