its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
